The Rio Fucking Grande!
As I sip on my daily spot of tea, I can't help but laugh sometimes at the apparent streak of bad luck that comes my way every once in a while. From my adventures on the various trips I've taken, to issues with my laptop, I just have a way of providing entertainment for all those people watching from above. Throughout my issues in Italy, (Part II will be published the minute I get my Mac back!) I just felt like heading into the Colosseum and screaming, "Are you not entertained!?" (Watch "Gladiator" if you don't know what I'm talking about) It's all comical upon reflection, but it certainly wasn't comical at the time.
Another one of those issues came up the other morning, when, after I took a shower, I get out to discover that I was surrounded by the fucking Rio Grande. The drainage pipe underneath my tub broke, and all this water was cascading onto the surface of my bathroom floor. Fucking spiders decided to enjoy the event by swimming laps in their newly created lake. I couldn't believe the shit. I splashed out the bathroom and immediately went to rile Michelle out of bed with the news; I wasn't going to deal with the shit alone.
Now, I remembered Michelle told me something about how "I needed to make sure to run the water" for whatever reason, which I actually did. But, she never told me WHY I had to do it, or what would the consequences be. And if she did, she surely didn't tell me in ways I could understand. Like, "Hey Ray, we will have a mini waterfall in the bathroom, and the River Thames will appear out of nowhere." Up until that moment, the biggest problem I thought we had with the tub was that the water wasn't going down as fast as we would like it to be. See, the day before, Michelle had got the impulse to be Ms. Fix-It, and try to completely unblock the tub. I have no idea what she did, but, a couple of hours later, when I looked at the tub, I couldn't help but laugh. The filter grill that sits at the top of the drainage hole was all crooked and bent. She also lost an all important screw and dropped it down the drain. Of course, she ain't tell me anything when all this was happening. I was busy typing up an assignment while she was engaging in her own personal episode of "This Old House." The only sign I got that things were going wrong was when she asked me, "Ray, you know what time the hardware store closes?" She wanted to go and get a replacement screw for the one she lost down the drain. After all her toil, the final result was a crooked drainage grill...
...And the fucking Rio Grande.
Michelle went about cleaning up some of the water from the bathroom while I was calling my internship to tell them I was going to be late. I also called my landlord, where he promised he would be there in ten minutes. He got there, ripped out the paneling underneath the tub, ripped out a pipe, and then was like, "I'll come back soon."
He ain't appear again that day. It was 10 o'clock in the morning when we first called him. Bastard.
The dude came back a day later, fixed the piping, and then left us with a tub without the paneling underneath. He promises to come back "within the week."
Bastard. I guess he got tired of saying "first thing in the morning."
Another one of those issues came up the other morning, when, after I took a shower, I get out to discover that I was surrounded by the fucking Rio Grande. The drainage pipe underneath my tub broke, and all this water was cascading onto the surface of my bathroom floor. Fucking spiders decided to enjoy the event by swimming laps in their newly created lake. I couldn't believe the shit. I splashed out the bathroom and immediately went to rile Michelle out of bed with the news; I wasn't going to deal with the shit alone.
Now, I remembered Michelle told me something about how "I needed to make sure to run the water" for whatever reason, which I actually did. But, she never told me WHY I had to do it, or what would the consequences be. And if she did, she surely didn't tell me in ways I could understand. Like, "Hey Ray, we will have a mini waterfall in the bathroom, and the River Thames will appear out of nowhere." Up until that moment, the biggest problem I thought we had with the tub was that the water wasn't going down as fast as we would like it to be. See, the day before, Michelle had got the impulse to be Ms. Fix-It, and try to completely unblock the tub. I have no idea what she did, but, a couple of hours later, when I looked at the tub, I couldn't help but laugh. The filter grill that sits at the top of the drainage hole was all crooked and bent. She also lost an all important screw and dropped it down the drain. Of course, she ain't tell me anything when all this was happening. I was busy typing up an assignment while she was engaging in her own personal episode of "This Old House." The only sign I got that things were going wrong was when she asked me, "Ray, you know what time the hardware store closes?" She wanted to go and get a replacement screw for the one she lost down the drain. After all her toil, the final result was a crooked drainage grill...
...And the fucking Rio Grande.
Michelle went about cleaning up some of the water from the bathroom while I was calling my internship to tell them I was going to be late. I also called my landlord, where he promised he would be there in ten minutes. He got there, ripped out the paneling underneath the tub, ripped out a pipe, and then was like, "I'll come back soon."
He ain't appear again that day. It was 10 o'clock in the morning when we first called him. Bastard.
The dude came back a day later, fixed the piping, and then left us with a tub without the paneling underneath. He promises to come back "within the week."
Bastard. I guess he got tired of saying "first thing in the morning."
posted by djkibblesnbits at 7:09 AM
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3 Comments:
I think maybe you should look into some home improvement classes when you get back. Just a suggestion. L.
Good God ray, your life is like one big soap opera.("and so are the days of our lives...") Anna
Dude..I like Michelle more and more..she sounds funny..u just gotta appreciate the humor in the whole thing..haha..ur tub exploded-Sam
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