Saturday, July 24, 2004

My Thoughts in Verse...

"My past is perilous
The scar I wear sings
Monuments to where I have been
And melodies to where I am going."

- "Monuments and Melodies", Incubus

Have you ever listened to music for an extended period of time, and feel that every single track you hear, it was as if whoever wrote the song wrote it with you in mind? The past few days, I've been going to bed with my headphones on, only to wake up the next morning with song lyrics stuck in my brain. Lyrics, which, in their own special way, explain my some of my thoughts in recent days. What have I been thinking about, you ask? Oh, the usual. Past relationships (mine, as well as other people), bills, school, "temptation," and laundry. (Yes, I have a lot of dirty laundry, both literally and figuratively.) Perhaps it was my "dirty laundry" that inspired me to write the first verse to this song I'm working on...

"When the water flows out
it's never just the right temperature
Gotta play with the faucet,
you don't want to burn yourself
It just sucks when no one bothered
to buy more soap.
You pretend your hands are clean
and dry your hands with a paper towel,
People think you're sanitary,
The lie will have to suffice.
You'll find another soap dish.
So you Hope."

- "On the Rebound in a Bathroom," Ray

A work in progress, to be sure. :-)

To get some of the inspiration I needed to write this entry, I began looking at developments on other people's blogs. It was then that I found this little jewel of a poem by Jennie1502. (Told you I was stealing it. Now you get your shout out.) :-)

"and to be perfectly dishonest,
your face bores me to tears
you tell me to name my poison
and pick my price
but i said i only drink on two occasions,
when i am alone,
or when im with someone
but your fumes have run out
and your gauges read empty
your little off-off-Broadway production
has been running for years
and no ones buying it.

a blind man could see all the dead flies buried
under the stench of your empty heart
the night you died is the night you lived
now youre in hell with that broken halo
wishing you were anything but dead."

-Untitled work

Not exactly the kind of inspiration I was looking for, but, it was a good one nonetheless, LOL.

...Among some of the thoughts rolling around in my mind are my observations of a particular relationship struggle between ZuZu and Jose. I'm not going into specifics with their situation, but I'll just say that when I heard this song on my iPod the other day, I immediately thought that Jose was saying this stuff to Zu. (Zu responds in quotes)

"Please don't go crazy, if I tell you the truth
No you don't know what happened
And you never will if
You don't listen to me while I talk to the wall
This blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hall
Where you've had me for hours
Till I'm sure what I want
But darling I want the same thing that I wanted before
So sweetheart tell me what's up I won't stop no way

Please keep your hands down
And stop raising your voice
It's hardly what I'd be doing if you gave me a choice
It's a simple suggestion can you give me sometime
So just say yes or no
'Why can't you shoulder the blame'
Coz both my shoulders are heavy
From the weight of us both
'You're a big boy now so let's not talk about growth'
You've not heard a single word I have said...
'Oh, my God'

Please take it easy it can't all be my fault
I haven't made half the mistakes
That you've listed so far
Oh baby let me explain something
It's all down to drugs
At least I remember taking them and not a lot else
It seems I've stepped over lines
You've drawn again and again
But if the ecstacy's in the wit is definitely out
Doctor Jekyll is wrestling Hyde
For my pride."

- "How to Be Dead", Snow Patrol

Okay, so with the exception of the drug part, (At least, I hope not...) that's how I imagine Jose feeling when he talks to Zu; talking to a wall that doesn't listen too well. As for Zu, I imagine her singing a different tune at the moment...

I've been walking around all day,
I think I have a problem,
I think I think too much.
I've been taught to hold back my tears,
And avoid them.
But you make pain into something I could touch.

I've been walking around all day,
I think I'd be better off without you here.
And I bet you're sweet and hard to get over.
So I'll cry and people will stop and stare.
Now that's okay.
Let them stop and stare.

Cause I am fragile.
I am hopeless.
I'm not perfect.
But I am free.

I've been walking around all day,
And waiting is all I seem to do.
Cause I never get it unless I'm fed it.
But this time i'll just have to.
Yeah this time i'll just have to.

And I'm fragile.
I am hopeless.
I'm not perfect.
But I am free.

Say you're not around, Am I finished?
If you're not around, thats too bad.
Hope youre safe and sound, not alone now.
Cause you know I believe in you.

I'm still fragile,
I'm still hopeless,
I'm not perfect,
But I am free.

And I'm fragile,
I am hopeless,
I'm not perfect,
But I am free.

Cause I am fragile,
I am hopeless,
I'm not perfect,
But I am free.

-"Fragile", Maria Mena

I wish ya'll luck, guys. :-/

...The other day, Anna was telling me about issues that she is undergoing with this dude that she has been dating. At first, it seemed like this guy was perfect. He had money, he wasn't afraid to "wine and dine" a girl, and he seemed like a perfect gentleman. But then, one day, this guy opens up his mouth, and shows a quick flash of narrowmindedness. Now, she wants to drop him like a sack of potatoes, but people keep telling her to stick with the dude because of his assumed "greatness." (the things money can do for you, eh?) She wonders whether or not she should stick with him for a bit longer, or whether or not she should cut him off. So, the chick asked for my advice. I said, "one more date." Basically, the dude should've realized he said something that turned her off, and make sure to change his ways around her. If he did, he would be singing,"My Stupid Mouth" in his head for even thinking about showing that aspect of his personality. If not, well, Anna, looks like you're singing, "Hit the Road, Jack" :-D

...I mentioned "temptation..."

I'm trying not to stare, it's too late
'The blankets over there, if you like'
I'm broken and I'm colder than hell
I should've said I'd not come back here

'Your breakfast will get cold'
I really have to go

It's easier to lie and be safe
Time and time again I'm half stalled
One giant leap of faith is easy
When everyone you ask is so sure

Just give a second thought
What if we don't get caught

Just say you love me now
And forget this whole row
Just save your energy
For making up with me.

-"Grazed Knees", Snow Patrol

Definitely, a lot of lyrics are floating around in my mind. Along with a lot of personal problems and issues going on with stupid shit. But you know what? I tell myself that no matter what, somehow, I'll find a way through...which is why the next song has become my anthem for the rest of the month...

I backed my car into a cop car the other day
Well he just drove off sometimes life's ok
I ran my mouth off a bit too much oh what can i say
Well you just laughed it off it was all ok

And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on any way well

Well, a fake Jamaican took every last dime with a scam
It was worth it just to learn from sleight-of-hand
Bad news comes don't you worry even when it lands
Good news will work its way to all them plans
We both got fired on the exactly the same day
Well we'll float on good news is on the way

And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on
Now don't worry we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Alright don't worry we'll all float on

And we'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on
Aliright don't worry even if things end up a bit to heavy
we'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Ok don't worry we'll all float on
Even if things get heavy we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Don't you worry we'll all float on
All float on

-"Float On", Modest Mouse


Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG..for once my issues seem so not for the record I never told Anna to stick with him for his money..never entered my mind..on the other hand I encouraged Ed..his greatness was poor Ray! Sam

7:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Number 1: You need a job, u have way too much time on your hands
Number 2: Guess we both have a listening problem eh? :-P
Number 3: Something tells me the worst is yet to come.... not with him, but just in general... so dun feel too bad for me :-)

And your right, my grandmother would prolly be like, "look buddy, shut the fuck up, get over it, and get me my pills and some NesQuick"

She shall be missed ...

Zu times 2

8:08 PM  

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