Highlights from Houston...

...Getting scratched up by Belly, the horny kitty...

"Aww, lookie, he's purring...OWWWW! Muthafucka!! I'm gonna turn you into a fucking hat if you don't stop biting me!!!"


...Seeing Spidey-Man kick ass in the local Houston cineplex...

"Oh, hell no!! There's no fucking way the train tracks would end THERE in New York!"

...Launching fireworks...and me jumping over an incoming missile from aforementioned fireworks...

"Let's blow shit up!!!"

"Point that shit the OTHER way!!!"

...Beating up the little cousins...

"No, Ray! No more body slams!"

...Getting left behind to take care of the kids while momma goes out clubbin...

"C'mon, Raymond! Play X-Box with us!"

...Making fun of Republicans...

"I hope Bush fucking dies the next time he goes skydiving on his birthday."

...Spraining my ankle playing soccer...

"HAAA HAAAA!!!"

...Breaking out the French accent...

"Ho, ho!! I shall smack le titty!"

and finally...

...Dodging questions about whether or not Michelle and I "did anything" in London...

"You HAD to have done something with her...not even a touch?"