Friday, August 13, 2004

The Awkward Train Ride...

I was heading to Billboard this morning, following my normal routine (y'know, chillin on the train, listening to the iPod, and waiting to see if a hot girl would get on board), when, this white couple hopped on not too long after I first boarded. I noticed something was rather strange about this couple; they were a late-30's, early 40's couple, scruffy-lookin, and their skin looked like they both had smoked a muffler for the past 30 years. Both of them had these red shirts on, which upon closer inspection, read, in big bold letters, "Don't mess with US" (The "US" part taking up the majority of the shirt, and the letters adorned with the American flag). At the main part of the shirt, Mickey and Minnie Mouse were standing in front of the "US" part, holding a middle finger up and a hand in the air in a military salute.

In other words, they couldn't have said "I'm a uneducated Republican" better if they had fucking pasted a billboard on their heads with those same words.

So, these people sit down right next to me, of all places, and open up a copy of the Daily News to read. Front cover, today, of course, was about the Governor of NJ resignation scandal, to which both responded with "fucking faggot." They flipped open to the first page, where there was a picture of the Governor himself. The man angrily shoved his middle finger onto the paper, growling something to the effect of "traitor," at the image, as if his actions would actually affect the Governor in real life or something. Like I said, there was something rather awkward about this couple, and it wasn't until I spotted tattoos on both the woman and the man that my suspicions were confirmed. Specifically, there was a tattoo of a cross and three dots right above it on their left hands, just above that little web of skin in between the thumb and the index finger.

..."Oh, shit..." I thought...I looked up and saw that a Mexican guy my age, who was sitting across from me, was looking at the same exact thing, and we both were thinking the same exact fucking thing...

My newfound trainmates were both members of the Aryan Nation. In the middle of the fucking Bronx.

The minute I confirmed that these people were a threat to my very existence, I began to size them up. I thought to myself, "I can take the guy, and the girl can be promptly knocked out with a kick to the face." I also looked around my train car to see if I had support. 15 minorities to 2 white supremacists. Decent odds. I knew the Mexican kid was down for a fight. My odds drastically improved when on 149th Street, Grand Concourse, this big ass black dude hopped on the train and sat directly across from the couple. And he immediately noticed the tattoos. I saw his muscles tense in anticipation of a rumble. He had this look on his face like, "these muthafuckas try sum' and i'm gon' fuck they ass up." (And of course, in my imagination, the guy sounds like a cross between Mr. T and Goliath from the cartoon, "Gargoyles." ) In the meantime, the couple kept going on and on, discussing rather loudly, about the contents of the newspaper they held in their hands. It seemed as if they were oblivious to their immediate surroundings. Like, "Hello?" You're in the Bronx, not in Amarillo, TX.

The train kept rumbling through to Manhattan without any major interruption. Every once in a while, the couple would flare up with another comment about the "shit being reported nowadays" or about how "Bush needs to kill all them sand-rats in the Middle East," but for the most part, nothing really happened. Still, the tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. Everyone within the immediate vicinity of the couple was just one misstep short of letting their fists do the talking. Especially the muscle-guy, who was creating an alliance of sorts with the Mexican dude.

...Then, just when I thought that it couldn't get anymore awkward, this short, fat, 10-year old kid gets on the train with what appeared to be a group of day camp kiddies. What was special about this kid in particular was that he was wearing a "Vote for John Kerry" t-shirt on. (Personally, I have my own reservations about kids his age showing a political bent when they're not even out of grade school, but that's my opinion) Now, when this kid came on, the couple next to me got agitated. They began looking at the kid, and then saying in a lower tone, "that fucking son of a hippie. Kerry's warping their minds!" They began getting louder and louder about the kid, when finally, I saw a way out...

My stop came. I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Yes, it is true..."they live among us."


Blogger Zulay said...

Damn yo, u kno if i woulda been there it woulda been over

12:16 AM  

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