Chika-Bow-Wow...

The other day, I doing a presentation in one of my Comm classes, when my professor did something that went far and beyond "putting me on the spot"

"Hey, Ray, I hope that's something in your pocket and not something else."

Ladies and gentlemen, we have lift-off.

I've always heard of stories like this from pubescent adolescent boys who cringe in fear over being seen "erect," but it's always been a regurgitated horror story; not an actual event.

Some of you may wonder why I was trying to do a presentation THINKING I could get away with a woody, while others may ask the more obvious question of why I had a woody in the first place. One question at a time, please. To answer the first one, basically, in a nutshell, I really didn't notice. I was just so focused on my presentation that I completely zoned out the fact that blood was rushing down that area faster than I could say "break the buns." As for the second one, well, maybe it was because of the fact that there were so many girls in the class with shorter than normal skirts on, or maybe because my dick wanted to say, "Hi." I have no fucking clue. Sometimes, these things just happen.

So how did I react?

"Nah, it's not something in my pocket." (sly, perverted smile)

I thought it would be over then. But, my professor just doesn't know when to let shit go.

"So, who's the lucky person you've got in mind at this particular moment?"

I was thrown right into a rhetorical trap. How the hell do I respond to that? Quickly, I figured it was time to make someone else's face beet red...shit, I wasn't going to be the only one embarassed in the class.

"Well, there is that lovely lady over there with her wonderful attire to lust over..." (sly, perverted smile)

And the girl, who was laughing so hard only moments earlier, sank lower in her chair, beet red, with a smile on her face, and her hands covering her mouth.

I let the comment linger a bit, and then, I went on with my presentation. I didn't confront the teacher afterward, but he did tell me it was "great." As for the girl, well, we spoke, and after it was all said and done, I got the digits. It's not too often you can get an "A and a phone number" at the same time.

Talk about being a "Happy Latino." :-)