I Wasn't Winking At You!

I do not exaggerate when I say that the other day, it was so cold, that while I was walking to one of my classes on the SU Quad, I licked my lips, and the next thing I know, I had icicles hanging off of them.

The combination of heavy snowfall, blistering winds, unplowed concrete, and silly Long Island girls that can't walk straight in snow (despite the fact that they all think they're invincible with their Ugg boots), made my walk to classes just a tad strenuous. Normally short walks became challenges of Mt. Everest proportions. And God forbid you had to do something more than just go to class, like visit a professor or something. Aww man. Days like these, most people will be like, "man, fuck that shit, I'll just go talk to my professors or the Dean of my college next semester." (Unfortunately, for seniors like me, we don't have that option) Hell, we don't even have time to greet our friends during weather like this. We could be walking right next to one another, but we refuse to lift our chins off of the top of our chest more than 2 inches, lest we suffer the consequences of feeling the icy pain of our cheeks getting blasted to oblivion by the "Lake Effect" winds. We could be wearing two, three layers of clothing, and still, it doesn't matter. It's times like these in Syracuse that no matter what you're wearing, you WILL feel the wrath of Mother Nature.

There are always peanutheads during this time that simply refuse to go outside wearing appropriate clothing for the weather, but instead, wear low-top sneakers and thin jackets thinking that everything will be alright. It's too bad that the rest of us can't laugh at them when they slip and fall down the SU Hill when their sneakers lack the traction needed to walk around on campus; it's too cold for us to waste a precious few seconds laughing.

So, now that I've drilled in the fact that it's extremely cold right now in Syracuse, I want you to explain to me just what was going through this girl's mind when she asked me, after seeing me squinting, minding my own business coming out of a class, she screams in apparent terror, "Did you just wink at me?"

"What?"

"Did YOU just wink at me?"

I had no friggin clue what she was saying at first; with the winds blowing as hard as they were, it sounded like she was saying something like, "Did you just pee on me?" After repeating the question for a third time, I answered with one of those, "Noooo..." replies. (You know, the kind of "No" where you draw out the "ooooo" in order to insinuate the fact that the person you're responding to is a tad bonkers.)

"I could've swore you winked at me."

By this time, I was beginning to get upset that this chick stopped me in the middle of a freaking snowstorm to ask such a ridiculous question. And it wasn't like she was trying to get me to talk to her or something; I mean, the girl looked legitimately freaked out over the possibility of someone winking at her, because, y'know, God forbid someone winks at you.

"No, m'aam, I did not wink at you. I would never harbor the thought."

And just like that, I walked away. Chilly weather calls for chilly receptions. :-)

And by the way...I did "wink", but it was only to get a humongo snowflake off my eye. I guess that possibility never entered her mind.

It's a sad world, really, when people don't use their brains.