Sunday, February 13, 2005

Politically Correct Valentine's Day

I don't ever remember Valentine's Day being so difficult...

Before, it was either I asked whoever I had my eye on to be my Valentine, or I just made my girlfriend of the moment my Valentine. I mean, almost everyone does that, right? (Assuming they participate in this capitalistic holiday, of course) Now, however, things are just...different. Now, I feel as if whoever I choose (or not choose) will have undeniable social consequences for me. Consequences, which, if left unchecked, could very well undermine my entire social experience for the rest of my time at SU. Some of you might think I'm exaggerating, but this is a serious issue, indeed. Ever since my return to SU from my semester abroad in London, I've been placed in a rather uncomfortable place of being "available," which is different from being "single." I am "available" because I AM single, but at the same time, everyone is looking to see whether or not I'm still on the "rebound," which is not such a good title to have. It assumes that you're still not over your last relationship, and that whoever you hook up with next will feel the negative consequences of your assumed emotional distress. (Attachment, indifference, etc.) The one way of demonstrating you're not on the rebound is by going to as many parties and other social events as possible and actively participating. However, in my case, because of the fact that I did not have time to do all that last semester, I've been living in this "available" limbo a lot longer than I needed to. As a result, the spotlight is on me, socially, to see whether or not I'm actually "ready to move on" even though, in my mind, I already have.

So now, getting to Valentine's Day...see, I'm forced to select someone because if I don't, then everyone is going to automatically place me in the "rebound" category, which ain't cool. And see, in this bubble we call college, everyone knows everyone's business, unless you make it your business to hide it...

...Which leads to my second dilemma. See, I'm very big on keeping my random excursions on the low at this school because I don't want random people knowing my business. While I have no qualms at disclosing everything with whoever I happen to be with, I do have extreme reservations about other people knowing my business. It's better for all parties involved to just have everything kept on the DL until further notice. So now, getting back to that whole "spotlight" thing, if I select someone to be my Valentine, everyone is automatically going to assume that I'm messing with that individual. And that's bad because if I select someone I'm actually messing with, then, well, all of a sudden, everyone knows my shit. And I don't want that to happen. Also, unwarranted jealousies may arise based on my selection. You know, if I select one girl I'm messing with for example, and not the other, I just burned a bridge. Assuming I'm messing with more than one person, of course...

...Which leads me to my third dilemma. I can't select someone I'm just interested in getting to know better because, A) Everyone is going to know I'm at least interested in that person, and B) I just burned bridges with whoever it is I happen to be messing with.

So, therefore, with all that out the way, I'm forced to select someone "neutral." Michelle and Zulay are out because it ain't MY freaking job to get them shit. (Other guys are supposed to deal with them) Family members are out because...ewww... Teachers...well, there are some that I would consider, but, damn their code of ethics. People outside of SU don't count in this social context, so by doing that, I'm bordering on grazing the "rebound" title...so what to do?

Then, it hit me. I got the perfect PC Valentine.

My roommate, Justine. People will still assume things, but at the very least, she can deny with all her heart and soul that there is nothing going on between her and I. And it's cool because the other people that can potentially get jealous just won't because they know that she's just a friend. Plus, it's rare that I make a public appearance with just her, and her only...

It works for me! Happy Valentine's Day, Justine! :-)

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are the only person who actually rationalizes this kind of thing... my God, it all sounds so complicated, lol. happy v-days regardless! -Anna

8:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy V-Day, my valentine~
-Justine

8:57 PM  
Blogger Jose said...

u my friend are a fool. that's much too cerebral i.m.o. ha!

9:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn Ray...no one can say that you're not analytical...But it all makes so much sense though! I completely feel you. I do have one way of solving your problem...stop nabbing the hoes! :-) Easier said, than done, though...

-Ken

11:34 AM  
Blogger Freebird said...

Happy Valentine's Day to someone who puts lots of thought into chosing one special person for the day. You played it safe this year by going with the roommate. Wise choice. :-)

12:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

With these kind of analytical skills you should be running for Congress to help balance the budget, not working for Apple!!

L.

10:44 AM  
Blogger Sally said...

Are all holidays subject to the same analytical thought?

11:13 PM  

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