Thursday, July 29, 2004

A Typical Interrogation of Saddam Hussein = Comedy

I was checking out the British newspaper, the Independent today, when I saw that there was an article detailing a typical interrogation period of Saddam. Wow...shit is comic...check it out here.

EDIT:: Link to site has been fixed. Click on it now.

Saturday, July 24, 2004

My Thoughts in Verse...

"My past is perilous
The scar I wear sings
Monuments to where I have been
And melodies to where I am going."

- "Monuments and Melodies", Incubus

Have you ever listened to music for an extended period of time, and feel that every single track you hear, it was as if whoever wrote the song wrote it with you in mind? The past few days, I've been going to bed with my headphones on, only to wake up the next morning with song lyrics stuck in my brain. Lyrics, which, in their own special way, explain my some of my thoughts in recent days. What have I been thinking about, you ask? Oh, the usual. Past relationships (mine, as well as other people), bills, school, "temptation," and laundry. (Yes, I have a lot of dirty laundry, both literally and figuratively.) Perhaps it was my "dirty laundry" that inspired me to write the first verse to this song I'm working on...

"When the water flows out
it's never just the right temperature
Gotta play with the faucet,
you don't want to burn yourself
It just sucks when no one bothered
to buy more soap.
You pretend your hands are clean
and dry your hands with a paper towel,
People think you're sanitary,
The lie will have to suffice.
You'll find another soap dish.
So you Hope."

- "On the Rebound in a Bathroom," Ray

A work in progress, to be sure. :-)

To get some of the inspiration I needed to write this entry, I began looking at developments on other people's blogs. It was then that I found this little jewel of a poem by Jennie1502. (Told you I was stealing it. Now you get your shout out.) :-)

"and to be perfectly dishonest,
your face bores me to tears
you tell me to name my poison
and pick my price
but i said i only drink on two occasions,
when i am alone,
or when im with someone
but your fumes have run out
and your gauges read empty
your little off-off-Broadway production
has been running for years
and no ones buying it.

a blind man could see all the dead flies buried
under the stench of your empty heart
the night you died is the night you lived
now youre in hell with that broken halo
wishing you were anything but dead."

-Untitled work

Not exactly the kind of inspiration I was looking for, but, it was a good one nonetheless, LOL.

...Among some of the thoughts rolling around in my mind are my observations of a particular relationship struggle between ZuZu and Jose. I'm not going into specifics with their situation, but I'll just say that when I heard this song on my iPod the other day, I immediately thought that Jose was saying this stuff to Zu. (Zu responds in quotes)

"Please don't go crazy, if I tell you the truth
No you don't know what happened
And you never will if
You don't listen to me while I talk to the wall
This blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hall
Where you've had me for hours
Till I'm sure what I want
But darling I want the same thing that I wanted before
So sweetheart tell me what's up I won't stop no way

Please keep your hands down
And stop raising your voice
It's hardly what I'd be doing if you gave me a choice
It's a simple suggestion can you give me sometime
So just say yes or no
'Why can't you shoulder the blame'
Coz both my shoulders are heavy
From the weight of us both
'You're a big boy now so let's not talk about growth'
You've not heard a single word I have said...
'Oh, my God'

Please take it easy it can't all be my fault
I haven't made half the mistakes
That you've listed so far
Oh baby let me explain something
It's all down to drugs
At least I remember taking them and not a lot else
It seems I've stepped over lines
You've drawn again and again
But if the ecstacy's in the wit is definitely out
Doctor Jekyll is wrestling Hyde
For my pride."

- "How to Be Dead", Snow Patrol

Okay, so with the exception of the drug part, (At least, I hope not...) that's how I imagine Jose feeling when he talks to Zu; talking to a wall that doesn't listen too well. As for Zu, I imagine her singing a different tune at the moment...

I've been walking around all day,
I think I have a problem,
I think I think too much.
I've been taught to hold back my tears,
And avoid them.
But you make pain into something I could touch.

I've been walking around all day,
I think I'd be better off without you here.
And I bet you're sweet and hard to get over.
So I'll cry and people will stop and stare.
Now that's okay.
Let them stop and stare.

Cause I am fragile.
I am hopeless.
I'm not perfect.
But I am free.

I've been walking around all day,
And waiting is all I seem to do.
Cause I never get it unless I'm fed it.
But this time i'll just have to.
Yeah this time i'll just have to.

And I'm fragile.
I am hopeless.
I'm not perfect.
But I am free.

Say you're not around, Am I finished?
If you're not around, thats too bad.
Hope youre safe and sound, not alone now.
Cause you know I believe in you.

I'm still fragile,
I'm still hopeless,
I'm not perfect,
But I am free.

And I'm fragile,
I am hopeless,
I'm not perfect,
But I am free.

Cause I am fragile,
I am hopeless,
I'm not perfect,
But I am free.

-"Fragile", Maria Mena

I wish ya'll luck, guys. :-/

...The other day, Anna was telling me about issues that she is undergoing with this dude that she has been dating. At first, it seemed like this guy was perfect. He had money, he wasn't afraid to "wine and dine" a girl, and he seemed like a perfect gentleman. But then, one day, this guy opens up his mouth, and shows a quick flash of narrowmindedness. Now, she wants to drop him like a sack of potatoes, but people keep telling her to stick with the dude because of his assumed "greatness." (the things money can do for you, eh?) She wonders whether or not she should stick with him for a bit longer, or whether or not she should cut him off. So, the chick asked for my advice. I said, "one more date." Basically, the dude should've realized he said something that turned her off, and make sure to change his ways around her. If he did, he would be singing,"My Stupid Mouth" in his head for even thinking about showing that aspect of his personality. If not, well, Anna, looks like you're singing, "Hit the Road, Jack" :-D

...I mentioned "temptation..."

I'm trying not to stare, it's too late
'The blankets over there, if you like'
I'm broken and I'm colder than hell
I should've said I'd not come back here

'Your breakfast will get cold'
I really have to go

It's easier to lie and be safe
Time and time again I'm half stalled
One giant leap of faith is easy
When everyone you ask is so sure

Just give a second thought
What if we don't get caught

Just say you love me now
And forget this whole row
Just save your energy
For making up with me.

-"Grazed Knees", Snow Patrol

Definitely, a lot of lyrics are floating around in my mind. Along with a lot of personal problems and issues going on with stupid shit. But you know what? I tell myself that no matter what, somehow, I'll find a way through...which is why the next song has become my anthem for the rest of the month...

I backed my car into a cop car the other day
Well he just drove off sometimes life's ok
I ran my mouth off a bit too much oh what can i say
Well you just laughed it off it was all ok

And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on any way well

Well, a fake Jamaican took every last dime with a scam
It was worth it just to learn from sleight-of-hand
Bad news comes don't you worry even when it lands
Good news will work its way to all them plans
We both got fired on the exactly the same day
Well we'll float on good news is on the way

And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on ok
And we'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on
Now don't worry we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Alright don't worry we'll all float on

And we'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on
Aliright don't worry even if things end up a bit to heavy
we'll all float on alright
Already we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Ok don't worry we'll all float on
Even if things get heavy we'll all float on
Alright already we'll all float on
Don't you worry we'll all float on
All float on

-"Float On", Modest Mouse

Friday, July 23, 2004

The Anti-"No Spin Zone"

With the Republican National Convention more than a month away, I'm already fucking sick of hearing about it. It all started with those god awful annoying ads that were popping up all over the city with former NYC mayor Ed Koch "welcoming" the Republican Party to NYC, as if he actually has the kind of pull in this city to do anything of the sort. Like, mutha fucka, get your pale, Purdue chicken-looking ass back to your geriatric care center. And those commercials? God, they make me cringe! Dude, do me a favor, Mr. Koch. Go grab former Republican NY Senator Al "Tomato" D'mato and relive the "good ol' days" of ruining the city and letting it overflow with crime and despair. But stop polluting ad space with your presence, please.

Then, of course, there's the whole "protest" aspect. In a nutshell, millions of people across the US have a big time grudge against Bush for taking us to war in Iraq for inconsequential reasons, and with the RNC taking place in the largest Liberal stronghold in America, these people would love nothing more than the opportunity to air their opinion. Much to the chagrin of these people, Mayor Bloomberg has imposed strict limits on where and when people can protest, citing safety reasons. So, here we got this huge battle between people dying to turn Central Park into a Bush-hating mudhole, and a Mayor using the Fox News network to spin the whole safety issue into a question of anarchy. ("Those damn liberals, throwing pipe bombs everywhere!")

I say let them protest...the more you piss 'em off, the more you mobilize them...which means even more people clogging the streets of Manhattan. And as for those people who say protesting the war and our President is "un-American?" Fuck you. The protest, as a tactic, is a fundamental core of democracy. Why? Because, the people who protest unite and make a big commotion hoping that they can influence policy makers to change...which means they have belief in the very system you say they want to tear down. By making their voices known, they are expressing their hope that the democratic process works. NOT questioning our President is "un-American." If we took everything he said at face-value, and stood by him 100 percent, we'd have a virtual king, not the President of a citizen-elected government body...

Which brings me to my main topic...why the hell is the President so popular? And why do Conservatives look to him so lovingly? (Thanks to the Village Voice article, "The Church of Bush" for the inspiration) From my experiences, these are the most common reasons cited for why they think Bush is the greatest thing since the right to own a gun.

1) "He is compassionate"

-Right...let's see...he sends people of my generation off to war, says he's all about military assistance, and then cuts their benefits. That's some love there, Mr. Bush. Or that $15 billion he pledged to Africa for AIDS two years ago? What happened to that shit? Only 2% of it has been dispersed, and it's only going to American pharmaceutical companies.

Yeah, he's his fellow corporate cronies at Halliburton and Enron...

Don't get me started on Abu Gharib...

2) "He knows how to make tough decisions and stick with them."

-I don't know about you, but I somehow don't get the impression that Bush loses sleep over the so-called "decisions" he had to make. I think they went something like this: "To make money, or not to make money, that is the question." Shit, Ari Fleisher, the former White House press secretary, lost more sleep than Bush did on trying to think up clever lies and comebacks to an increasingly scrutinizing media. The best thing Bush ever did was surround himself with a shitload of cronies in order to make sure that whenever he had any action to take, he would have a fall guy in case his plans backfired. That's why he has Darth Cheney on board as Veep to deflect criticism away from Bush, and more on himself.

3) "He has integrity"

- "He (Saddam) has not developed any significant capability with respect to weapons of mass destruction. He is unable to project conventional power against his neighbors."

-Colin Powell, Feb 24, 2001, Cairo

- "Saddam Hussein is a man who has told the world he wouldn't have weapons of mass destruction, and yet he deceived the world. He's got them... We know he's got chemical weapons, probably has biological weapons."

-President Bush, Nov 3, 2002, Sioux Falls Convention Center

-"Saddam Hussein has longstanding, direct and continuing ties to terrorist networks. Senior members of Iraqi intelligence and al Qaeda have met at least eight times since the early 1990s. Iraq has sent bomb-making and document forgery experts to work with al Qaeda. Iraq has also provided al Qaeda with chemical and biological weapons training. And an al Qaeda operative was sent to Iraq several times in the late 1990s for help in acquiring poisons and gases. We also know that Iraq is harboring a terrorist network headed by a senior al Qaeda terrorist planner. This network runs a poison and explosive training camp in northeast Iraq, and many of its leaders are known to be in Baghdad."

-President Bush, Radio address, Feb 8, 2003

- "We'll find them. It's only a matter of time before we do so."

-President Bush, May 3, 2003.
(after the war was declared, "over")

- "Information found to date suggests that Iraq's large-scale capability to develop, produce and fill new CW munitions was reduced -- if not entirely destroyed -- during Operation Desert Storm and Desert Fox, 13 years of UN sanctions and UN inspections."

-David Kay, Iraq Survey Group, Sep 10, 2003

-"Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be somewhere ... nope, no weapons over there ... maybe under here?"

-President Bush, Mar 24, 2004, Radio and Television News Correspondents Association dinner. (Being a dork and looking around White House furniture for WMD's)

- "I have to accept we haven't found them and we may never find them. We don't know what has happened to them. They could have been removed. They could have been hidden. They could have been destroyed."

-Prime Minister Tony Blair, July 6, 2004, House of Commons

Not a single fucking trace of WMD. Some fucking integrity.

4) He stands for the good graciousness of God

-Last I checked, we have a separation of Church and State. Conservatives have been getting their jollies off on the fact that Bush was calling for an actual amendment to the Constitution to ban gay unions, which, itself, was a political tactic to disguise the real threat to gays, H.R. 3313, the Marriage Protection Act, which, in effect, makes it impossible for the Supreme Court to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act. (no state must recognize another state's marriage of a same-sex couple.)

Bush has such a hard on to fuck over gays. (pun intended) Never mind that when he was first elected, he appointed Dick Cheney's own daughter, Mary Cheney, as the Director of vice-Presidential Operations, an out of the closet lesbian. Since Bush went on his huge anti-gay campaign, you can't find shit on this chick anywhere. She like dropped off the face of the planet.

It's called, "plausible deniability"

So, yah. Those are the most common reasons people support Bush. And because of those reasons, they don't question him. Notice how they're based on observations of his personality. For that, I have to offer this quote...

"If angels were to govern men, neither external nor internal controls on government would be necessary..." -The Federalist Papers

I don't care if you think he's the nicest guy in the world. It's our fucking right to make sure we have checks and balances in this country. Plain and simple.

Want to do your part in this campaign? Vote. That's all anyone can ask for. And for you Bush-Haters, if you want to do your part to get him out of office, check out to get information to print out to start your own grassroots anti-Bush campaign!

I'll do my part, starting with boycotting any channel that shows Koch's annoying commercials for a day. :-)

Mission Complete

Thanks to Anna, I can now happily say that I have secured an internship for the rest of the summer at Billboard Magazine. :-)

I guess now I'll really be under pressure to download tunes from iTunes, eh?

Sunday, July 18, 2004

FYI, a Few Tidbits of Updates

...Starbucks is officially shot down during the rest of my stay in the NYC. I've got a very negative reaction from a few of their managers about the prospects of my working for them until I get back to Syracuse. I'm not sure if I will return to the 'Bucks at SU, but for now, I'm trying everything I can to avoid that possibility...

...I finished reading the DaVinci Code. So, for all of you people who have been asking me to borrow the book, I am ready to place you on the waiting list. Thus far, here is the list (some people have been removed because they have bought the book themselves):

My momma (current reader)

Anyone else?

...Speaking of Eve, she is now officially off the "cut off" list. There are those among my friends that aren't exactly too happy upon seeing the news, but quite frankly, it really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. There are people who have done worse to me, personally, that deserve such a distinction. I'm not saying we're completely on good terms, or that we're getting back together, but I am saying that I should place my energy on holding grudges with people who deserve it legitimately, not with old high school drama. Eve is the first of several people I hope to talk to again after a long hiatus. It's time for me to let my anger die down, and give people a second (sometimes a third) chance. If shit don't work out, then, I'll let it go. Not everyone is meant to be my friend, no matter how personable I may be. (Wanna see where I first got the idea to talk to old acquaintances again? Check out this

...I have to go back up to Cuse again before August to get my Jeep, the last remaining thing left within Chiyo's grasp. Unfortunately, I'll be giving good ol' Cookie an unceremonious goodbye as I junk that ol' gal. I had some wonderful times, however short-lived they were, in that car. I'll miss ya... :-(

...And with that, the new car search begins. Specifications? Cheap, small, good on gas, and low on insurance rates. As long as it ain't knocking on Death's door, I'll take it. Estimated purchase date? Late October. (Gotta settle debts first) In the meantime, it's time to polish up that old bike...(imagine me on the highway with a Toys R' Us bike)

...Shout out to Anna for helping me get an internship with Billboard Magazine. It's not set in stone, but it certainly looks hopeful. Wish me luck!

...I'm getting in on the work-out kick. I joined a gym for the rest of my time in NYC (at the best price possible...FREE!), and am avidly working hard to get into excellent condition by next March for Spring Break 2005! I want bitches taking body shots off my washboard abs!! (Well, maybe not all that, but at the least, I could take "Migente Status" pics, and I could run around campus all day without gasping for air.) Zu is down with the plan, as well. I'm trying to get Mishu, but she would rather spend her time sleeping and eating. :-)

...Someone already asked me if I was getting the new iPod that Apple is going to release this week. To answer that question...NO! I'm perfectly fine with the one I have. And so, since I'm not getting the new unit, that also answers the second part of the question of whether or not I can give away my old one...NO!!!!

...I need money, bad, which also means I ain't even going to THINK about purchasing anything...

...And yeah...that's all for now...

A New Method of Domestic Abuse...

Now, this shit is funny...check out the newest way to beat the crap out of your significant other...:-)

Thursday, July 15, 2004

The Separation of Mind and Heart

I was somewhat amused the other day when I heard someone close to me tell me that they didn't want to hook up with me for fear of "hurting" me. I cocked my head to the side in response. Did I hear her correctly? Hurting me? I thought to myself, "you gotta be kidding?" I wondered if she took the time to realize just who she was talking to, and at what period in their lives. I agreed with her on the hooking up part; someone was going to get hurt, but it certainly wasn't going to be me. See, I tried explaining to her that she stood to lose a lot should she get with me blindly, and that she might develop expectations of me that I couldn't even think about fulfilling at this stage of my life. (You know what stage...the whole post-relationship "Can't Make a Ho a Housewife" stage.) We could hook up, I said, and if she went to someone else afterward, I really wouldn't care. She was offended by the concept, as if she really wanted me to be in pain over her, should she move on. She stayed quiet for a second, and then repeated a line similar to, "I don't want to hurt you."

I didn't press the issue any further, but one thing is clear. "If she don't know, she betta go and ask sumbody!"

All throughout high school, people told me that I "wore my heart on my sleeve." For whatever reason, I got carried away making assumptions about particular girls, and then wound up getting hurt when they disappointed me. There were stark exceptions here and there, but for the most part, I was the one who was heartbroken. I began to turn a new leaf during my senior year, only to make a stupid mistake in expecting the world of someone at the end. But whatever. We all learn.

When I began my college career at SU, I was determined to change all that. I became, as my roommate Nelson so eloquently named me, a "Manwhore." My first two months at Cuse became a daily excercise in juggling, kicking out one person to get with the next. Then, Evelyn came along, bringing in problems that have now become legend. The combination of distance and lack of intimacy brought about the demise of that relationship. So, when I met Chiyo months later, she was like a breath of fresh air. Chiyo was like the girl I wish I had during high school. She was carefree, not afraid of commitment, mature, intimate, and goofy. And she was on-campus. And I loved it. So, for a year and a half, I was living in a time-warp while I was with her. I was living the high school dream of being with your significant other all the time. No more wishing to wake up with the warm body of my girl next to me. It was actually happening. Parents didn't get in the way, either, like they did during high school. To me, it was perfect.

So, when I was rudely awaken from my dream. I looked around, and I realized, emotionally, I wasn't in high school anymore. I was a junior in college, studying abroad in London. And when you fall from the sky, it hurts like a bitch. Not only was I mad about the end of the relationship, but, also, I was upset over the time that had passed. It's kind of like waking up late for classes. You're angry because you had to wake up from a nice dream, but, you're also pissed because of what you missed. You can either sit there and try to go back to sleep, or get out of bed and sprint to class. What did I do? I set my alarm clock to snooze, woke up five minutes later, and sprinted to class.

So, I moved on. And right now, I sure as hell ain't raring to jump right back into a relationship. I've adopted a lassaiz-faire attitude. You wanna chill? Bet. Just wanna talk? That's cool, too, but I'll catch you on the flip side as I keep truckin. Some have asked how can I do that without getting attached. It's quite simple, really. I think with my brain instead of my heart, constantly reminding myself all the time...

"You can't make a ho a housewife."

Yes it's a defense mechanism. But, what's wrong with being a bit more reserved? After all, I just woke up.

A Daily Musings Edit

The post, "The Password to a Forbidden Crush" has been deleted. I rarely censor myself online, but, I realized the repercussions from that blog could undermine the kinds of relations I have with certain people. I would rather keep the "Crush", "forbidden", and hence, a secret. I thought I had the strength to make it public, but, alas, I'm not ready. And they're not ready.

Requests to see the post itself will be honored on an individual basis. I'll make that concession.


My stupid mouth
Has got me in trouble
I said too much again
To a date over dinner yesterday
And I could see
She was offended
She said "well anyway..."
Just dying for a subject change

Oh, another social casualty
Score one more for me
How could I forget?
Momma said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one soon

We bit our lips, she looked out the window
Rolling tiny balls of napkin paper
I played a quick game of chess with the
salt and pepper shaker
And I could see clearly
An indelible line was drawn
Between what was good, what just
slipped out and what went wrong

Oh, the way she feels
about me has changed
Thanks for playing, try again.
How could I forget?
Momma said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one

I'm never speaking up again, it only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery, than she desert me

Oh I'm never speaking up again
Starting now

...One more thing
Why is it my fault?
So maybe I try too hard
But it's all because of this desire
I just wanna be liked, I just wanna be funny
Looks like the jokes on me
So call me "Captain Backfire"

Oh, another social casualty
Score one for me
How could I forget?
Momma said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess I better find one

I'm never speaking up again. It only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery, than she desert me

Oh I'm never speaking up again
Starting now

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Blog Etiquette Rule #3

Yet another addition to my "Etiquette" series. If you missed the first two, click here to catch up.

Rule #3: Don't assume that you can remain "anonymous" on the web when you post blogs, especially if you're talking about people that know you.

For years, people have been talking about the arrival of the "Digital Age," where all kinds of information is available just by logging into a computer and pressing a couple of keys into a search engine, and POOF, it's all right in front of you. Sure, we all take this for granted when we log onto Google, searching for some random dick to plagiarize for our next paper or something. ( DISCLAIMER: I am not condoning or acknowledging the partaking of such action on the Internet. Perform at your own discretion.) ) Need to get a good quote out of a particular movie? Type "Snatch" "Bulletproof Tony" and "quote" in Google to get your target, for example. It's really simple stuff that we do ALL the time.

So, what makes people think that the stuff they put in their blogs isn't just as searchable? Thought you could talk shit about that person sitting next to you in class, and that they would never find out? Think again. Crying your heart out to the web about the ups and downs of your relationship with your significant other, thinking that you'd reach everyone BUT that particular person? Yeah right. Just as there's is plenty of information on the web available to people about politics, there's probably a shitload of information out there on you, just a Google search away. And just as likely that you're able to find out information that people have posted about you, the same applies to the people that you talk about within your own blogs.

Don't believe me? Say someone knows me and they know that I'm cool with Zulay and that I went out with Chiyo. Type in "Zulay", and "Chiyo" into Google, and what do you get? Access to my blog! They're just a few clicks away from seeing if I ever talked about them in my blogs. (Good luck reading through all of them, though. LOL)

So, keep that in mind as you prepare to write about a certain person. Your feelings about them are just a search engine away from being known to them.

Monday, July 12, 2004

"Locked Up" in Cuse

So, I'm sure there are some people out there who want to know what happened in Cuse this past weekend. Well, I got my shit out of Chiyo's place. Shout outs to Morgan, Shawn, Dino, and Keith for helping me out. My momma, too. She spent her birthday weekend helping me out with an issue that should've stayed between Chiyo and myself, but has now involved too many other people in the process. So, I thank all of you.

(On a side note, I don't give a fuck if people think I'm a "momma's boy." I'm man enough to acknowledge my own mother's role in my life from the moment I was born, and if that's too much for people, well, they can go fuck themselves.)

ZuZu didn't come through on the trip. I didn't stay out there long enough to peak her interests. Another Cuse trip is scheduled within the next two weeks, so maybe she can participate in "Cuse Roadtrip II."

I chilled with Morgan that night, and he let me crash at his dorm. While we were chatting about the situation, I couldn't help but think of the lyrics to that song "Locked Up," by Akon, featuring Styles P, and changing them to fit my situation with the "ex." Check them out, and play the song in the background to get the beat.

Locked up, she won't let me out,
And I had a long day in Cuse, shit stressed me out,
She try take my shit and throw it all out
Head to Onondaga County, gotta do a bid here
I'm used to living European, I don't wanna be here,
The sky is gray, the clothes is orange,
The buses is broke, the townies is garbage,
A lot a niggas is livin with these circumstances,
Nothin's the same, I'll murk ya manz'z ,
Get beat down should he go and make advances,
Niggas ran and told me that I should drop they asses.
Got popped for a peace attempt,
Knocked me in London when i was talking some sense,
Throw a brick at they ass should she take to a further extent,
Locked up and she wont let me out,
When I hit rock bottom, niggas know the threat be out.

I'm steady try to find a motive,
Why she had to be a ho?
The freedom ain't gettin no closer,
No matter how far I go,
My car is broken, no registration,
Money is slowin,
And now she done got cocky, and I be locked up,

She won't let me out, She won't let me out,
I'm locked up
She won't let me out
No, she won't let me out.
I'm locked up
She won't let me out, she won't let me out,
I'm locked up
She won’t let me out
No, she won’t let me out.

Headin upstate to Cuse,
Chillin with a couple peeps,
Caught a glimpse of Whitey,
Waiting like a dick across the street,
If this about the money,
Why can't we settle this in peace?
All we do is clash,
Before I unpacked my last bag, she fucked around and got me locked up

She won't let me out, she won't let me out,
My nigga, I'm locked up
She won't let me out
No, she won't let me out,
I got locked up
She won't let me out, she won't let me out,
My nigga, I'm locked up,
She won't let me out
No, she won't let me out.

Now that I'm locked up, I live two lives so
I'ma bag bitches and stay "ex" blocked up
Two middle fingers up
to whoever want it with me,
Shit like that get niggas fucked up.
Cuz I'm locked up, though I try to get out,
I drink a shot of Springs when they stress me out,
Go and hit the club when the girls be out,
Can't wait for the day when she lets me out.

Cuz common sense no longer applies,
Seems like she forgot about me,
My patience is running empty,
My room mates spend their time withholding me,
Can't wait to get out and move forward with my life,
Got a family that loves me and wants me to do right
But instead I'm here locked up.

She won't let me out, she won't let me out,
I'm locked up.
She won't let me out,
No, she won't let me out,
My nigga I'm locked up,
She won't let me out, she won't let me out,
I'm locked up
She won't let me out
No, she won't let me out

Cuz I'm locked up...

Friday, July 09, 2004

Just Wanted to Say...


...I shall be leaving to the Cuse tomorrow in an emergency trip to rescue my shit from the grips of the ex. Wish me luck. :-/

ZuZu is coming through on this adventure. I loved her quote from the other day. It doesn't take much to figure out who she's talking about.

"I better not catch you alone in the dark streets of Syracuse..."

Damn skippy, son.

Thursday, July 08, 2004

The Top Most-Played Songs of June 2004

Looking back, June was a month that was filled with transition, the most obvious change being my return to the States from London. I went from taking the Tube and working at IQA, to eating slices of pizza and taking advantage of a subway system that refuses to close at midnight. :-) Or, instead of drunkedly stumbling around the streets of London, I was drunkedly stumbling around the streets of NYC. Okay, maybe there wasn't THAT much of a difference in some regards, but certainly, my listening habits changed. I boycotted John Mayer and Norah Jones. Goodbye, Usher, I said to myself. I scoured my iPod, looking for something new to listen to, or just anything that I could knock someone up against the wall with and go buckwild. So without further ado, here's my top-10 for this month.

10. "Secret" by Maroon 5, off of their "Songs About Jane" album. (last month, #8)

9. "Cold Hard Bitch" by Jet, off of the "Get Born" album (new)

8. "Run" by Snow Patrol, off of the "Final Straw" album. (new)

7. "James" by Josh Rouse, off of the "1972" album. (new)

6. "Muevete y Perrea" by Daddy Yankee, off of the "El" album (new)

5. "Lean Back" by Terror Squad, off of the "Fucking Bitches Up Mixxtape." (new)

4. "Girl Act Right" by Eamon, off of the "I Don't Want You Back" album (new)

3. "Dembo" by Wisin y Llandel, off the "A Otro Nivel" album (new)

2. "Are You Going to Be My Girl" by Jet, off of the "Get Born" album (new)

1. "En La Cama" by Nicky Jam y Daddy Yankee, off of the "Haciendo Escante" album (new)

Once again, it was a mix of everything this month. EXCEPT for sappy love songs. Fuck that shit. :-) Only one hold over from last month, Maroon 5's "Secret" survived the cut. While I was in England, I really got into some rock bands that have become huge out there (bigger than they are here), such as English band, Snow Patrol, with their main tune, "Run," or the Australian band, Jet, a group reminiscent of 70's rock bands of yesteryear. Terror Squad's "Lean Back," a tune I first heard in London in April, peaked this month, adding a mix of sounds to my top-10.

Gis and Mish should recognize the #6 tune of the month. :-) I kept listening to it to remind me of you guys. WOOOHOOHOOO!!!

Hell, even Eamon's "Ho-wop" sound made it into my top-10. Though the song is hilarious, don't expect it to be in this top-10 list ever again.

...5 songs from my top-10 came from iTMS, FYI...

...Oh, and before I forget, please take note that everytime that I put the phrase "new" next to my song, that means that the song itself is new to my top-10, not to my music library, nor to my ears. It doesn't mean that I think a certain track just came out or something. I'm pretty sure most of you understood that distinction, but I know there are a few dense holdouts out there...:-)

Aight? Take care, ya'll. Keep listening to music. Oh...and don't forget...


EDIT: It figures that when Michelle and I leave London, a new nightclub opens called, "Playlist," where anyone can bring in an iPod, and plug it in for fifteen minutes to provide music. Shit, with some of the songs we kept on hearing in London nightclubs, the shit we were playing around the flat was better than the shit in the clubs! Want more info on the club itself? Check out to see what I mean...bloody hell...

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Highlights from Houston...

...Getting scratched up by Belly, the horny kitty...

"Aww, lookie, he's purring...OWWWW! Muthafucka!! I'm gonna turn you into a fucking hat if you don't stop biting me!!!"

...Seeing Spidey-Man kick ass in the local Houston cineplex...

"Oh, hell no!! There's no fucking way the train tracks would end THERE in New York!"

...Launching fireworks...and me jumping over an incoming missile from aforementioned fireworks...

"Let's blow shit up!!!"

"Point that shit the OTHER way!!!"

...Beating up the little cousins...

"No, Ray! No more body slams!"

...Getting left behind to take care of the kids while momma goes out clubbin...

"C'mon, Raymond! Play X-Box with us!"

...Making fun of Republicans...

"I hope Bush fucking dies the next time he goes skydiving on his birthday."

...Spraining my ankle playing soccer...


...Breaking out the French accent...

"Ho, ho!! I shall smack le titty!"

and finally...

...Dodging questions about whether or not Michelle and I "did anything" in London...

"You HAD to have done something with her...not even a touch?"

My dear Abuelito...

It wasn't too long after I had arrived in Houston that I got to see my grandfather for the first time since Thanksgiving of this past year. After seeing him looking over his beloved stamp collection during the Turkey break, and him stealing the pound of coffee I brought from Starbucks for my Uncle Angel, it was weird seeing him lying in a hospital bed, lacking the ability to talk properly, or to move the left side of his body. He went from looking through all the pictures I had on my computer of my friends and experiences in college, to lying in bed without the capacity to eat without the aid of a tube that fed directly into his stomach. It wasn't long that my mother and I had first arrived, along wih my uncle Willie, that my grandfather sounded out the phrase,

"Es malo a ponerte viejo." (It's bad to get old)

Abuelo. 83 years young, on July 9th. The same birthday as my momma. We got him a cake to celebrate it just before we left. He couldn't have any of it. Given the chance, we all knew if he had that cake within arm's reach, he would've gotten to it. We made sure that cake stayed at a safe distance, where the only thing he could do involving the cake was imagine the flavor the combination of pound cake, white frosting and a blue trim, can make. My little cousin, Marco, (I can't believe the sucker is already 10 years old, the rugrat) offered the suggestion of us breaking down the cake and placing it in his feeding tube. Nice gesture, but we all knew it wouldn't change anything. Not to mention, it was bad for him. All of us, deep down inside, wished that he could just sit up and tear a piece of that cake, and chow down with us. All he could do, instead, was to just watch it from the side. We dared not eat it in front of him, though he did tell us to enjoy it on his behalf.

Abuelo, despite his condition, was still all there. He asked me (though with plenty of difficulty) about my trip in Europe, including asking me about the "girls." (Yup, I get it from him) Half the time, though, he tried talking to me, and I simply couldn't understand him; it just wasn't coming out right. I wished he could at the very least have full control of his speech, but it was shot. He knew what he wanted to say, but it just wasn't coming out clearly.

I hold out a lot of hope that he can recover his speech and the ability to eat food again. I made sure, though, that I got as much time as I could with him to keep a lasting memory, in case he left us all before we could see him again. I hope he didn't wind up crying after I left him in tears.

Buena suerte, mi abuelito.
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