It's Official...

I'm officially an Apple employee now! :-D I knew all those months of trying to convert people to the Macintosh platform paid off.

So now, to celebrate...it's time to spread the "Mac gospel"

...Today, Apple released the brand new iMac G5...and boy, it's a beauty...check it out for yourselves at http://www.apple.com/imac

Man, if I had that shit on my desk at home, I would have so much room on it, it's not even funny...

Alright, enough of that. It's time to get back to school. Real updates will be coming soon, the minute I can get internet access, as mentioned in my most recent audio post. I shall tell you this though...

Everyone who went to London and came back to Cuse is suffering through a depression right about now...it's called the "Aw, fuck off!" disease. Symptoms include:

1) Not looking at anyone inside the Schine Student Center

2) If approached by someone that knows you, you tell them, "look, I'm in a rush, I gotta go," or, pretend you don't know them and act as if they changed too much over the course of 9 months.

3) Complaining about how Centro buses are shit compared to the London Bus system.

4) Cry about the lack of a "Tube"

5) Running away at the sound of a Long Island accent

6) Looking away in disgust everytime a news channel other than the BBC is on television.

7) Staring blankly into the sky, hoping that an airplane will pass by you with a rope so you can climb on board and head to England.

8) Responding to questions of, "How was London?" with, "IT'S MUTHAFUCKING BETTER THAN HERE!!!!" in a somewhat angry voice.

9) Have the "Fanta" theme song stuck in your head.

10) Tear up when catching sight of the British flag.

11) Stand at attention when catching a snippet of footage from the English Premiership Football League

If you exhibit any of these symptoms, seek professional help or just log onto bbc.com and get your British fix...it should subdue you for about five minutes before you tell someone to go "fuck off" should they question your health.

An Audio Update from Cuse...

All the Ups and Downs…

Well…I’m back in Cuse…somehow…

In what seemed to pass in an instant, the past two months I’ve spent in NYC have certainly been “interesting,” to say the least. My first few weeks in the city were spent running around living the life of a social butterfly, as I tried to make up for lost time spent in London, away from everyone. It wasn’t long before things turned sour, and Drama smacked me across the face. I couldn’t escape the BS; it followed me no matter where I turned…

At least I got a gig at Billboard Magazine. (Once again, thanks Anna) I guess I never fully explained my experiences there to any degree of detail, but to sum it all up, I got there, met some people, spent a lot of time dealing with HTML coding, and then in the last week, all the interesting stuff began to come my way. I actually got a chance to write reviews for the magazine, which is great shit. Now, I actually have clippings to add to my portfolio when I begin lying, er, I mean, “marketing,” myself to companies about my past work experience. I wish I could’ve stayed at Billboard a bit longer; I was beginning to enjoy feeling important and working in the infamous “deadline” mode…which served to provide another excuse for why I’m late meeting someone…

“Sorry, babe, but it was deadline day…”

…Just don’t let them figure out when exactly “deadline” day really is. J

I’m definitely going to miss the free CDs, the free concerts, and getting mail from record companies in MY name. (Yeah, I really felt all important after that.)

…One of the goals I had set this summer for myself was to somehow rebuild bridges with some people I’ve lost contact with over time. I managed to do that with Eve, and also, in a surprise move, I spoke with Nayrobi for the first time in two years. Nothing major was achieved with the latter person, but definitely opening up communications again, no matter how small, is a big move in itself. Sure, I didn’t hit all the people I wanted to speak to, but I figure I can eventually get to them with time. I can’t rush into it in anyway, or else the gravity of each situation will never be understood fully. It’s definitely a work in progress…

…By the same token however, it seems as if for every friend I gain or regain, I lose one. I guess I have a limit to how many friends I can have at once, or whatever. I don’t want it to be that way, but that’s the way it’s playing out. I guess this is where Anna’s line of, “I have too many friends,” comes into play. Like sorry, buddy, I can’t be your friend because I’ve hit my limit. It sucks, meng.

Like I say, though, “you can’t be friends with everyone.”

…What the fuck was going on when someone in the sky decided to make getting up to Syracuse a fucking monumental task? Never mind that I really wasn’t in that much of a rush to get here, but, shit, for various reasons, I had to drag my ass from the city into Cuse. Each and everytime, though, it was one big freaking fiasco. Why couldn’t shit be simple? But, I guess, as I learned from my experiences in Europe, NOTHING is simple. There’s always some kind of hidden trap or loophole for shit to slide out of. Shit would’ve been a whole lot easier if I still had Cookie to depend on for my travels to and from Syracuse, but, alas, even if I had her, I would’ve have had to have spent so much money just to maintain that Jeep. (Which, as I’ve stated over and over again, I don’t have)

This time around, I was supposed to get a U-Haul truck to get up to Cuse with my roommates, Zulay and Justine. However, because of miscommunication, and complete lack of motivation, people forgot to reserve the truck on time. So, what wound up happening was that our price quote for the truck jumped from 140 to 400 bucks. That jump in price made our U-Haul option a null one, and I personally had to begin searching for some other method of getting my shit up there. The second option I had was to rent a car. I thought it was too good to be true when I called up AVIS Car Rental and not only got a car at the last minute, but also got the underage surcharge dropped, thanks to my affiliation with the ‘Fucks. After getting there with shit ready to go, I was denied the car thanks to a freaking unauthorized charge to my credit card. I was screaming to freaking pay cash money for the freaking rental, but they didn’t want to take it. I was like, “what the fuck?!” (I guess cash isn’t good enough for anyone anymore) So, after having a “woe is me” moment, I regained my composure, and got the wheels turning on making moves to Cuse. I called Zulay and was pretty much like, “get up there on your own, bitch,” and opted to take JetBlue, leaving the bulk of my shit behind, and hoping for the best. As it turns out, Zu offered to take my stuff up after speaking to her parents, who opted to drive up a mini-van to Cuse. (As this is happening while I’m typing this entry, I have no idea how it’s going to turn out…but, alas, I keep in mind, NOTHING is simple!)

(WARNING: Vent Alert!!) None of this would’ve happened if I had opted to go on my own from the get-go. I would’ve had a ride, I would’ve had peace of mind about my stuff, and, I would be headache free. But, of course, I had to play the whole “teamwork” card. Man, fuck teamwork. Fuck friends. As was the theme this entire fucking summer for me, I was reinforced with the idea that you can’t fucking depend on nobody but your damn self. I ain’t trying to dog my friends or anything like that, but, c’mon, shit is ridiculous. I’ve been fucked over on so many occasions depending on someone else to do right by me. I made the stupid ass assumption that just because I would be willing to help out someone in the same situation, that other people would, too. But, as I say, when you “assume” you make an “ass” out of “u” and “me.”

The sooner I can fend for myself, the better off I’ll be. But, I guess I gotta go down before I go up, right?

(NOTE: For all those that have helped me out thus far in my recent struggles, I thank ya’ll, and in no way am I dogging you guys for the stuff that you’ve helped me out with. It’s just that I’m frustrated because I am no longer in control of stuff that I should have complete control over, and I am struggling to regain it back. I don’t want to depend on anyone, and the sooner I can do that, the better off I’ll be. Alas, control is coming back REAL quick…)

So yeah…woooosaaahhhhh...

…So yeah, I’m back in Cuse right now, chilling with my Avondale crew. I’m hanging out with Spunky, the chinchilla again. It’s interesting being back here, considering that exactly the same time last year, I was in the same exact place, with the same people, holding it down. There’s one major difference, though…no Chiyo…I must admit, although I’ve been to Syracuse a few times this summer before I came up here for the final move, I never really got the closure I needed to move on. I thought I did, but, yesterday, as I was walking towards the SU campus from Avondale Pl., a well of emotions flooded my mind. Everything hit me all at once. Memories. Conversations. The feelings. Everything. Now, more than ever, I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do when I see her again. Officially, it’s been more than seven months, almost eight, since I last saw her. I don’t regret our breakup at all in the least, because we really did need a break from one another. I’m certainly not clamoring to have her back, but I do wish that we had parted on much different terms. We had too much of a foundation just for us to part ways the manner we did. One can argue that it’s the “other guy” factor that’s making this difficult, and while there’s some credence to that argument, the fact is that the girl makes her own decisions. She chose to cut ties with me despite all the good times we had, and the friendship we developed. No one forced it on her. And I guess, out of everything that happened, that’s the one thing that I have a problem accepting; the fact that she chose to cut me from her life. I feel that I did everything I possibly could to “get it right” while I was with her. I showed loyalty, was a shoulder to lean on, I made her laugh, I listened to her, I cherished the small things, I defended her, showed my love, sacrificed, provided advice, was honest, and above all, I never wronged her. And towards the end, even during the final rough patch before it all ended, I felt she did the same for me. And that’s why I have a problem dealing with it. I go back to the same question of “why?” What did I do wrong? How do I avoid it happening again? I thought I had already asked these questions a long time ago when I was in London, but I guess now that I’m within a mile of her, I’m forced to seriously consider them. The next few weeks will be emotional, to be sure, but, as I have in the past, I will simply get back up and walk away from it all. I’ll stop asking the questions. I’ll stop wondering, “why” and begin to instead think, “SOOO WAAATTT!!!” Because, I KNOW I did all I could. I KNOW I have a reason to be proud of myself. And I KNOW that I will move on.

…Especially since there are some beautiful fucking girls coming to SU. :-D My future hasn’t looked this bright in a long time…I’m getting money again, have a chance to start over, and, I’m all the wiser from my past experiences.

Here’s to the new Up! I’m back in Cuse. Let’s get my last year off to a running start.

E-mail Hijinks

A Quickie...

I got this stupid e-mail land in my Junk Mail box today...normally, I would just delete everything from this box, but this particular subject line caught my eye...

"Eliminate your bills the Christian way!"

What the fuck? I pray and have faith that my bills will magically disappear...

This is now officially up there with the "Holy Blow Dryer."

So Much For That Record...

Just a quickie here...

I find it hilarious that the USA Basketball team lost by 19 points to Puerto Rico during the Olympics today. Now, while one can be technical and say that in reality, the USA team lost to itself (y'know, that whole PR "colony" status, n all), I think it's fitting that these NBA players got cut down. It's about time that they take the international competition seriously.

It's even more fitting that PR was the team to give it to them. All of a sudden, Latinos have something to play for outside of baseball, boxing, and soccer...

...Yeah right... :-)

The Awkward Train Ride...

I was heading to Billboard this morning, following my normal routine (y'know, chillin on the train, listening to the iPod, and waiting to see if a hot girl would get on board), when, this white couple hopped on not too long after I first boarded. I noticed something was rather strange about this couple; they were a late-30's, early 40's couple, scruffy-lookin, and their skin looked like they both had smoked a muffler for the past 30 years. Both of them had these red shirts on, which upon closer inspection, read, in big bold letters, "Don't mess with US" (The "US" part taking up the majority of the shirt, and the letters adorned with the American flag). At the main part of the shirt, Mickey and Minnie Mouse were standing in front of the "US" part, holding a middle finger up and a hand in the air in a military salute.

In other words, they couldn't have said "I'm a uneducated Republican" better if they had fucking pasted a billboard on their heads with those same words.

So, these people sit down right next to me, of all places, and open up a copy of the Daily News to read. Front cover, today, of course, was about the Governor of NJ resignation scandal, to which both responded with "fucking faggot." They flipped open to the first page, where there was a picture of the Governor himself. The man angrily shoved his middle finger onto the paper, growling something to the effect of "traitor," at the image, as if his actions would actually affect the Governor in real life or something. Like I said, there was something rather awkward about this couple, and it wasn't until I spotted tattoos on both the woman and the man that my suspicions were confirmed. Specifically, there was a tattoo of a cross and three dots right above it on their left hands, just above that little web of skin in between the thumb and the index finger.

..."Oh, shit..." I thought...I looked up and saw that a Mexican guy my age, who was sitting across from me, was looking at the same exact thing, and we both were thinking the same exact fucking thing...

My newfound trainmates were both members of the Aryan Nation. In the middle of the fucking Bronx.

The minute I confirmed that these people were a threat to my very existence, I began to size them up. I thought to myself, "I can take the guy, and the girl can be promptly knocked out with a kick to the face." I also looked around my train car to see if I had support. 15 minorities to 2 white supremacists. Decent odds. I knew the Mexican kid was down for a fight. My odds drastically improved when on 149th Street, Grand Concourse, this big ass black dude hopped on the train and sat directly across from the couple. And he immediately noticed the tattoos. I saw his muscles tense in anticipation of a rumble. He had this look on his face like, "these muthafuckas try sum' and i'm gon' fuck they ass up." (And of course, in my imagination, the guy sounds like a cross between Mr. T and Goliath from the cartoon, "Gargoyles." ) In the meantime, the couple kept going on and on, discussing rather loudly, about the contents of the newspaper they held in their hands. It seemed as if they were oblivious to their immediate surroundings. Like, "Hello?" You're in the Bronx, not in Amarillo, TX.

The train kept rumbling through to Manhattan without any major interruption. Every once in a while, the couple would flare up with another comment about the "shit being reported nowadays" or about how "Bush needs to kill all them sand-rats in the Middle East," but for the most part, nothing really happened. Still, the tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. Everyone within the immediate vicinity of the couple was just one misstep short of letting their fists do the talking. Especially the muscle-guy, who was creating an alliance of sorts with the Mexican dude.

...Then, just when I thought that it couldn't get anymore awkward, this short, fat, 10-year old kid gets on the train with what appeared to be a group of day camp kiddies. What was special about this kid in particular was that he was wearing a "Vote for John Kerry" t-shirt on. (Personally, I have my own reservations about kids his age showing a political bent when they're not even out of grade school, but that's my opinion) Now, when this kid came on, the couple next to me got agitated. They began looking at the kid, and then saying in a lower tone, "that fucking son of a hippie. Kerry's warping their minds!" They began getting louder and louder about the kid, when finally, I saw a way out...

My stop came. I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Yes, it is true..."they live among us."

Whoo boy, Republicans are Going to Have a Field Day With This One...

As I type this, news is beginning to filter in that the Governor of NJ has just resigned from his office, citing that he is having an extramarital affair with another man...

I'm sure jaws are dropping all over the place as they hear the news...

And I'm sure Conservatives are laughing in glee over the fact that a Democrat has admitted to being gay.

I will call it right now and say that the fires of homophobia will be stoked by the Unholy Alliance of Fox News and the Republican party.

This, politically, don't look good...blah.

Good luck, Governor McGreevey. You're going to need it, man. Now, you'll truly see first hand just how hateful and ignorant many Americans can be... :-/

It's Just Another Word...

Quien...Quien eres tu para hacerme sufrir para hacerme llorar?

U would think dat after knowin someone for a couple of years & them sayin that they "LOVE" you that they would have your best interest at heart. WRONG!

….The word love is over rated and has lost its meanin :'(

-Evelyn’s profile

And so it begins…the #1 reason why I cannot have a girlfriend in the immediate future has finally reared its ugly head…

“Emotional Baggage”

Never did the word “love” seem so empty and plain till the day Chiyo agreed to eliminate someone she supposedly “loved” in her life for someone else she supposedly didn’t have as strong feelings for. Eight months later, and I’m like that little kid who flinches when someone raises their hand because they’ve been beaten too many times; mention the word, “love” to me, and I recoil. I simply don’t believe it. It’s just another phrase. A perfect verse that’s just a lie you tell yourself to help you get by. Tell me you love me, and I’m like, “yeah right.”

Why, you ask? Because, when I said those same words, no one bothered to believe me enough to care.

You really love me? Let your actions speak for you. Don’t tell me that you “love me,” though, thinking that somehow, you’ve proven that I mean a lot to you. Just cuz you said it, don’t make it so.

And if you feel your actions are, in fact, done out of “love,” then have the patience with me and understand I place far more emphasis on my own actions towards you than the words I speak in return.

After all, wouldn’t you rather have a warm hug, a kiss, and a good piece of advice than just the words, “I love you, too?”

If You Suspend One, You Might As Well Suspend the Other...

...These are most definitely political times, and I will most definitely get political every once in a while...

Today, I noticed something in today's newspapers that wasn't exactly trumpeted in any of the major US news outlets, nor on the BBC. The news? The US-appointed interim Prime Minister of Iraq banned the Arab news network, Al-Jazeera, from Iraq for the next 30 days. Unfamiliar with Al-Jazeera? Well, to hear the Bush Administration and Fox News tell it, the network is a news organization bent on "spreading hatred" among the Arab world towards America. For those within the Middle East, however, Al-Jazeera is the only major news organization that does not report the news based on a Western point of view. The Bush Administration argues that because the network broadcasts videos of terrorists holding captives hostage all the time, that the network is supporting terrrorist organizations like Al Qaeda. The network, who's motto is "Reporting Opinion and Counter-Opinion," feels that is important to show all angles of the War in Iraq, not only reporting on the American point of view about the invasion, but also from the point of view of the terrorists they're fighting, and the civilians caught in the middle. In other words, CNN, for example, will show us aerial footage of US warplanes attacking targets, and Al-Jazeera would go in and show viewers the consequential damage of such attacks.

After paying a visit to their website, "aljazeera.com," for an extended period of time, I would have to say that this network isn't any more biased than the networks we have in the US. As a matter of fact, I would say that a network like Fox News is way more slanted than Al-Jazeera would ever be. Which brings me to the conclustion that if the Iraqi PM, the whipping boy of the Bush Administration, were to really believe in journalistic integrity, he would also ban Fox News from his country.

It's ironic how the Bush Administration goes into Iraq claiming that it's fighting for their freedom and self-determination from oppression, and the lemming that the government appoints to run Iraq bans the first independent news organization to rise in the Middle East. Before Al Jazeera, the people of the region obtained their news via local government soapboxes, aimed at telling their people how great their rulers were. Now, they have a network that covers the news free of such nationalistic BS, and it's all of a sudden, banned.

It's a crying shame. There's only one way to square up. Ban Fox News from Iraq. CNN, too. Because they're no more independent than Al-Jazeera, that's for sure.

Them's fightin' words to Zulay...

It Suddenly Hits Me...

I had an epiphany today. I decided to stop being in denial, and actually look at a calendar for once.

I have two weeks. Two weeks before I return to Hell. AKA: Syracuse University

I remember my freshman year, when I was all excited about going to college and getting out my momma's place. I remember the constant day-dreaming about parties, fraternities, intelligent conversations, going to class in PJs, and non-stop sex. Oh yeah, and classes, too.

...Ahh..back when I was naive...

Now, three years later, I have grown disillusioned with my once beloved University. Sure, I had plenty of fun, and participated in pretty much all the things I thought I would when I first left for college, but, after Fall semester of last year, I was just left with a bad taste in my mouth. I needed to get out of there, ASAP, and my semester abroad in London provided that much needed space. But, after being up there twice during the past month, I realized that I need to stay away just a bit longer. Certainly more than the two weeks I have left to chill in NYC. I don't think I'm ready, emotionally, for a return just yet...

- I'm still feeling the effects of an academic burnout, which, might get worse considering I'm taking 19 credits this semester...

- I despise those spoiled brats from Long Island that dominate the University so much more than ever before.

- I'm dead broke (always a downer)

- I need a car, and can't afford one because of aforementioned problem

- My roommates and I are having trouble coming up with enough money to pay the first month's rent for our house...(always an issue if you don't have a place to live in)

- DRAMA from all angles...

- and...I need SUNLIGHT!!! Remember kiddies...Syracuse IS snow. And grey. We can't forget grey.


But, as I always tell people, there's always a bright side...


- REFUND CHECK! (ka-ching!)

- Starbucks! (Well, maybe that's not such a good thing...hey, at least I'm rehired without the BS)

- I'm single again...not exactly my first choice, but, at least that means I'm on a clean slate...

- Devil's Spring (sniff, sniff, memories...) [Central NY's greatest liquor, for the uninitiated]

- Nice house (though, I can't afford furniture for it just yet)

- I'm taking FREEENNNCCHH!!! (Ho, ho, ho, c'est la vie, bitches!)

- I get to smack Michelle's ass again. (The ultimate stress reliever) :-)

- I'm like a freaking media hog...Editor-in-Chief of La Voz, Editor of SU Latino, AND, I want my time slot back on my radio show...

- Possibility of a new Mac...(and it's FREEEE!!!)

and finally...

- CENTRO!!!

Wait...that last one should go in the "bad section..."

So Syracuse...ETA: Two Weeks from today. Ready or not, here goes nuttin.

I Couldn't Have Said It Better

Well, guys, it looks like it's time to add another infamous "Bush-ism" to the list...take a gander at what our dear President said today during the signing of a $417 billion defense spending bill.

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we," Bush said. "They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

He said it. Not me. LMAO.

For Once, I'm Actually Not Saying What I Think...

After much internal debate and deliberation, I have decided to not publish a particular blog dealing with a two-year dispute between two "friends" that has somehow involved Zulay and I in it. While I'm a player in the debate, I'm certainly not a part of the main event. Don't ask me how it started. I do know, however, that there's no way it can end on good terms if both sides say what's on their mind in their complete and unadulterated form...

So, it's already a bad situation. And it don't need to get worse with me throwing in my two cents.

What I will say, though, is that this past weekend's emergency trip to Syracuse (second in a month) was a complete waste of my time. Nothing was accomplished. If I find out that the aforementioned dispute had anything to do with my visit to Cuse, I swear, I will fucking tear a new asshole in someone. That shit is straight grimey.

Woooossaaahhhh...(Calm down, Ray, calm down...)

I fucking hate high school drama...especially when it's coming from college students. (Sigh)

...Baby, you gotta realize you're at the center of this debate...please...just put all your cards on the table for all to see, and go from there. Don't worry about hurt feelings. It doesn't get worse than what it is now...

The Top 10 Most-Played Songs of July 2004

Ahh...yes...July...fireworks, hot summer days, and half-naked girls...oh yeah, baby. That's the life right there. :-D It was my first full month in the States since I arrived from London, and, shit, a lot happened, meng. A trip to Houston (replete with horny kitties and a sprained ankle to show for it), seemingly endless struggles to get up to Syracuse, and the recent aquisition of an internship at Billboard Magazine. Not bad, eh?

So, without further ado...here are the Top 10...


10. "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" by Jet, off their album, "Get Born" (last month, #2)

9. "Take Me Out" by Franz Ferdinand, off their self-titled album (new)

8. "Pobre Diabla" by Don Omar, off the "El Cangri.com" album (new)

7. "Freaky" by Young Rome, Guerilla Black, and Rufus Blaq, off of Rome's album, "Food for Thought" (new)

6. "How to Be Dead" by Snow Patrol, off the "Final Straw" album (new)

5. "All at Sea" by Jamie Cullum, off the "Twentysomething" album (new)

4. "Chocolate" by Snow Patrol, off their album, "Final Straw" (new)

3. "Warrior, Pt. 2" by Lloyd Banks, featuring Eminem, off the "The Hunger For More" album (new)

2. "Monuments and Melodies by Incubus, off of iTunes Exclusive Incubus single (new)

1. "My Stupid Mouth" by John Mayer, off the "Inside Wants Out" album (new)


I couldn't keep John Mayer away for too long. He just had to creep up in there again to reclaim his place atop my Most-Played List. I don't know why, but, I just get transported to a different place everytime I hear his songs...and diversions are always welcome in during the morning rush hour on the subway...it's like, you wanna be anywhere else but there.

Snow Patrol's album, overall, "Final Straw" received massive play time during this past month, but the two songs, "Chocolate" and "How to be Dead" peaked during this period. If you haven't checked out their album, or any of their music, I suggest you do. Some people might dismiss them as "another Coldplay" but that couldn't be further from the truth. Start off with their track, "Run" (last month's #8), and go on from there. Before you know it, you'll have their songs stuck in your head, guaranteed. Especially "Run."

I REALLY, REALLY like Incubus' track, "Monuments and Melodies." It's a bluesy-rock track that completely sets the mood when you want to lay back and close your eyes. Drift with this song as you hear the guitar riff in the background.

You might be looking at this dude, Jamie Cullum, and wonder, "who the fuck is that?" Well, I'll tell you...he's the one man "British Invasion." He's like a British Norah Jones, though a bit more clever, lyrically. Take a gander at "All at Sea" and see if you would like to add it to your collection. It would do well for you, particularly now that school is starting soon. You can definitely concentrate with this song, as well as the rest of his album. Check it out.

And now...drum roll please...7 out of my top 10 songs were actually purchased on iTMS. Good shit. After all, I can't be stealing music now that I'm working for Billboard...

But then again, there are always them free CDs...;-)

Don't Worry Guys...

New updates coming real soon...like a fucking flurry of them...be prepared...I might even start a fucking war...

Like Jose says..."It's the beginning of the end"

Thing is... it already ended ...stay tuned...